This is not a period in my life that I'm proud of. My self esteem and anxiety was at an all time high. I was angry all the time and nobody quite knew why, and I took it out on anyone, and anything. Which was wrong of me, but I have since come to realise that hormones were in part to blame, and the other half was me crying out for help in the only way I knew how. Rage. At both people and the poor Twilight Saga, which I hadn't given a fair chance because I perceived it as an attack on the precious Wizard boy that I was not quite ready to let go of, even as the series of films and books drew to an inevitable close. I'd read the Twilight saga, but bias clouded any joy that I might have taken from it in those dark times.
Now that I'm a little older, and wiser I decided a few months ago that I would give it another try. Just to see if it was really as bad as I remember. Spoiler alert: They weren't. Truth be told, I was having a dreadful day, and so I texted a friend. I asked 'What cheers you up when you're having a terrible day?' Her reply was 'I watch Twilight.'After staring at my phone for a few moments, I went to amazon, and bought the film because they were the same price either way, and I knew my friend was a tremendous fan, anyway. So I figured buying it would give us something to do. This was at a time where we didn't have to social distance.
I watched the film and I was taken aback by how, in its own way, it was sort of charming. Or the blue Filter reminded me of all the Winterfell scenes from Game of Thrones. Whatever the reason, I enjoyed it. After the film was over, I texted another friend who may have had the books. Alas, he did not. They got lost when he moved house. I did the next best thing, though. I bought the Twilight Saga ebook bundle, devoured those, and now I consider myself a Twilight fan.
This inspired another adventure to undertake, with a similar take away. How To Build A girl by Caitlin Moran. I read this the first time maybe two or three years ago fresh off a break up. Again, given the stae I was in at the time the book book didn't stand a chance. I also knew the film was coming out. (it's available to rent digitally at the time of writing this post) I wanted to give this another go with fresh eyes, and a not so broken heart. If you're interested on my more in depth thoughts, I think it would be fair to give HTBAG it's own post. So keep an eye out for that.
My take away from this experience is that in my youth, I was determined to be mad. I let anger cloud my judgment and take away things that I otherwise would have enjoyed had I not been so swept up in teenaged resentment. But it is never too late to try things again. Is Twilight the best series ever written? To some, maybe. If that is you, I applaud your enthusiasm! Love what you love! Shout it on the metaphorical rooftops. Write about it. Tell everyone you can. Let your passion fuel you, and if people judge you for it, allow it to roll off your back. As long as YOU enjoy it, that is the only thing that matters.
While the Twilight saga has many flaws, and many repeated phrases weaved throughout the prose, it can be fun. Yes, scoff at the fact that vampires are vegetarians, and sparkle in the sunlight if you must. Though I do believe that Meyer deserves some credit for freshening up the trope a bit. I think fans of the genre tend to forget that we all have a different introduction. We all have that first step. For people around my age, this series meant the world to many people. It inspired and touched. Like it or not, Twilight created readers, and as an author of paranormal things, I can appreciate what she did.
But I have rambled on long enough. Tell me, have you ever given something you hated a second chance? If you did, had the second go been more enjoyable? Or maybe this post inspired you to pick the thing you hated up again. Either way, let me know your thoughts!
All my love,
B.L. Koller
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